After three years as newlyweds on Rue St Denis in
Ah, Costco. At the beginning of our relationship, I was reluctant to admit I frequented such a place, but with each visit I found more and more reasons to give it a permanent place in or lives. Now we buy most of our staples there and the best news is it’s only about 5 KM from our house.
If you’ve never been, the first visit can be a bit of an attack on the senses: a real crash course to middle class shopping. The things you can buy there are astounding: anything from ready-made omelets to 12-man tents; four-foot high wooden nutcrackers at Noel, to enough edamame to fulfill any vegan's fantasy.
If you time it right, (not that I have EVER planned my shopping around some stupid samples…...OK, maybe) you can have a whole meal of free samples complete with ice wine and a breath freshener. Be wary though, some of the samples can be alarmingly bad. I wonder, who BUYS this stuff?
It’s good to go with a partner and watch each other’s backs. Danny and I don’t even have to speak to communicate; we seem to have developed these silent codes meaning "Red Alert!!" or "Mmm. Could you manage to score another one?"
I can see him veering away from the crab dip with his radar honed in on the nearest garbage can and I know to skip the dip and double up on the chocolate covered blueberries, one for me, one for him.
Hmm, looks like this Costco client is taking advantage of the Sample Lady's turned back as she flirts with yet another client. Must be a great way to pick up guys, though. "Hel-LO there, want to try my blueberry cheesecake?"
I just wish they would strategically map out the sample people with a little more consideration to the natural order of how things should be eaten. There’s nothing more revolting than nibbling on a dab of cherry cheesecake and then tasting a spear of smoked duck sausage right after. And what's up with ending your meal with breakfast cereal and milk? Come on! If I managed a Costco, I would make this negligence pretty high up on my priority list.
“Hello and welcome to Costco! Please enjoy your meal.”
It would be like a degustation, (or tasting menu for the blokes) and then you can have the option to buy everything.
Yes, start off in the mini quiches and frozen appetizers section, move to the pastas and breads, a little duck or fish here and there, a dab of cheeses, and finish up with some of those gourmet ice creams.
I’d team up with some people from Ikea, whoever the wise guy is who paints the arrows on the floor and keeps us all going in the same direction.
Come to think of it, I am ALWAYS hungry when I shop at Ikea. Hmm, I can see a merge in the works here.
The Costco food court isn’t bad either. Skip the fries, but the sausages and pizza are pretty good and the ice cream is a good bang for your buck.
All this talk and I think I have a shopping list forming. I better check…yep, I knew it, getting low on T.P again. I only have 18 rolls left and I can see the bottom of my 25 gallon drum of olive oil!
Wait! I gotta get a case of those energy drinks too! And I am down to my last jar of Dijon.
What is it about Costco that you always end up going about a hundred dollars over budget? Is it because of that 1.1kg bag of Jelly Bellies you grabbed at the end? The fact that you couldn’t turn down a 3.3 Liter jug of Kalamata olives for $14 bucks? Or was it the 2 dozen roses for $14.99 that caught your eye?
Anyway, even if your not a member yet, remember, there are some benefits to getting older, tied down, and suburbanized.
So we've found.